I can't even really remember my first post about my new "journey". It's a lame-o way of saying it but really, how else to explain this road I'm on? :P
I baked tonight. It's such a good feeling - can't you just smell those hot out of the oven rhubarb muffins? Delish. I'm discovering again this week about things I enjoy doing which make me happy. My priorities aren't exactly lined up but for a little happiness? I thought it'd be smarter. I've read two books in the last week and it's only Thursday. I'm kick'n back on the balcony at night instead of running off doing something or glued to the tube or computer. I long to go to the gym (and actually feel guilty about not going) but I lack the ambition currently. (Can anyone hold me accountable? Or join me?)
It's been a great! I've listened to 1 lesson of the bible study I was given (seriously, who can find 50min a day to sit, listen, absorb and meditate so much info?). To see how much I take from this study I am currently taking notes that I'll share later on as I get thru more. The first lesson totally hit home though and was pretty much perfect timing! No place like walking in the cemetery to gain some introspect! (It's really not that morbid! It's a massive beautiful cemetery with paved roads, lots of trees. benches and great place to get away without being far from home)
I have my priorities and right now it's making myself happy - doing the things I enjoy instead of putting them off until I have time.
Seriously I sound so cheesey bally! My eloquent way with words is failing me tonite...so distracted by the delicious aroma from the kitchen....
I'm a journey right now, stuck in the valley and climbing my way out.
PM: "Michelle, I'm going to be blunt - what is your soul craving?"
Me: "Uh, um....*sigh*..that's an on the spot question...I dunno"
It took me a good five minutes but it came to me in a super clear thought - Acceptance & Love.
Last night I broke down again. I was really upset, bawling in front of my computer screen just wanting to talk to someone yet I didn't feel anyone could handle my burden I was wanting to unload. I needed someone that wasn't related to me, nor could I explain to a friend what was going on inside of. My phone rang and it changed everything. God has blessed me so much with someone who is more than just a mentor to me but a true friend who always builds me up - reaffirming who I am in Christ and how human we all are. (Pastor Mike this is a shout-out to you! If you even read this blog :P)
I'm going to try to keep a journal of my thoughts over the next while especially as I'm doing a bit of a study as provoted to me last night. God is constantly molding me to become who He wants me to be!
Time to quench my thirsty soul.