It's something that has been on my mind quite a bit lately. Are we all "called" with/to a passion? Should we be passionate about something?
This leads me to another line of thought lately - what do I enjoy in life? What drives me? What am I good at? Recently I picked up crocheting and so far so good but like scrapbooking I lose interest pretty quickly. Is this me just wanting to feel good about myself? Or feel like I'm good at something? Validate myself?
What about my career? Should I change from my current career or stick with what I'm trained in? Maybe I enjoy administrative duties more than I realize although that is hard to say since it's been a while since that was my job. If I wanted to go back into post secondary, shouldn't I be able to find something that peaks my interest?
I'm so lost right now about what I want to do with my life. Waiting and listening for God's direction is hard. And do I trust him to direct my life in ways I'd never expect? Do I trust him to work things out for His goodness?
I need to talk more to my heavenly Father instead of just living in my own "head space".
Below is a photo I took of the whiteboard at my church's College and Career's "Friday Night Event". (One hour of a study and the rest is social time).
I think it's really funny (even more so because I'm the one who wrote on the whiteboard :P).
But isn't it so true though? Especially the church part?
I need to blog about this and get it off my mind so much.
On Sunday I shared my "real life story" in front of my church. I had prepared beforehand with a nicely typed up sheet a paper and bible in hand. It started out okay. Read the 3 small verses and starting my super short bio of how I got to the church. That was fine but when it came to sharing what God has been doing in my life lately I just started bawling. I couldn't stop crying and I knew I needed to get my story out so I did between blurry eyes and tears streaming down my face.
I don't remember much of what I said. I didn't see how many people were crying with me. I couldn't even tell you if I thought anything I said made any sense but apparently what I said hit home for a lot of people. My boss (who goes to my church) came up to me this morning and told me I even had him in tears! A grown man! Random people came up to me and thanked me for sharing, that what I said was powerful. And it kind of blew me away and still is....
I put my entire self out there to my church family. I was very vulnerable and my church showed me nothing but love and grace. How awesome is that? Not only did I show other people how human I am but I came away so encouraged!
How people see me at church has totally changed. People now know a ton more about me and it's almost a relief! Opens doors for conversations and relationships. This is not what I expected to happen but I couldn't be more thankful!
What a wonderful gift.
(Sorry mom & dad for not letting you know I was doing this but it was hard enough with one sister there! I was nervous enough! :) I know you love me and support me. What I shared on Sunday was nothing different than what you already know.)