God does keep transforming us even in the midst of feeling very much alone, even more so when we don't even ask in our selfish prayers. God knew what I needed to read today and it's refreshed me yet again.
The last couple months have been a blur of many struggles and tears. It was a "season" for me of what I'm not quite sure but I feel that it's over. Greater things are coming and He has prepared me for it. I cannot ask what but I feel deep inside that things are going to change and evolve.
Christ in me. Forever!
There have been moments in the past few days that I've really noticed God's handiwork and sometimes it makes me chuckle.
I'm indecisive about moving and keep sending requests to God to help me decided. And what happens within a few minutes? Obnoxious neighbours above us having a loud party that did not end until after midnight. (One big reason I want out of an apartment building - noise level).
I was feeling let down by someone and within two days the person called me to get together.
Had a coffee break with my pastor and he reminded me to keep discovering God's love for me. And what is on the calendar that I just received as a present? "God is for you". The Lord your God loves you". Hmmm. (Except the calendar came from my pastor....)
I love today, it's been a great day.
I feel like I'm in un-ending funk. I don't know how to get out of this and move on. I'm tired, worn out, emotional and feeling really lonely. I've been a horrible friend to people for the past while - I don't keep in contact, I don't even appear online half the time even tho I'm at home sitting in front of my computer doing nothing. I'm avoiding certain people and I don't know why!!
There is so much stuff I need to do and I lack all motivation. I feel so horribly guilty right now and am pretty much able to cry at the drop of a hat.
I don't know what the hell is going on but all I know is that I need.....someone to pick up my pieces and help me back up.