I'm not hanging on very well.
I cry almost everyday.
Tears of anguish and anger.
I thought I heard God telling me that today things would change and it seems I was very wrong. Nothing has changed and I have to go back to a really crappy temp job (to put it nicely.)
Is it so wrong to just ask for a job?!? I'm losing faith in God's provision. 8 WEEKS! I'm tired of being home all the time, I'm tired of being so emotional and upset with myself for still being at home.
What else is there for me to do? I'm not getting interviews and I don't want to take on any more temp jobs.
Why can I love God so much but I feel so alone? Why do I think I hear His voice but it is my own? I got through this weekend banking on what I thought was going to happen and now I'm sorely disappointed.
I want stability back! I feel like I can't get anything done because my entire life is off balance. I have so many things I need to do once I have a stable income. I can't even maintain my car or keep a stock of groceries in the house.
I'm tired of this being my entire life and that's all I have to talk about. I'm a drag! I'm depressed and don't want to talk about it anymore.
Where do I go from here? Live off EI for half a year? I apply for jobs but the only calls I get are from temp agencies. I know things could be worse but for me this is my "worse". I'm jobless, single and depressed. Great stuff!
What's it going to take for me to become employed? How many times to I have to pray? How many times to I have to cry in anguish? How many nights do I have to struggle with sleep?
I'M DONE. I've given up.
Dear Lost Soul,
You put too much on God and don't have enough faith... God won't fix your problems unless you are willing to have faith in him. Release. Let it go...Have faith. It will come...when you least expect it. Take the temp job. Follow the path that God has given you. Your not listening. All you hear is the voice in your head and it isnt God because he doesnt talk to us that way. It is not a voice but a feeling...a way. A flow. A stream even...Follow the path and it will lead you to the destiny that God has given you.
God Bless You and May the Peace of his love be with you...Always!
Anonymous said...
4:04 AM, April 23, 2009
I'm feeling that, where are you from?
Natalia said...
9:39 PM, August 24, 2010
This is an old post from 2008 when I was going through my own personal "hell" of trying to figure out my life...moving on from a job I loved and lost. This was me at wit's end...life improved when I finally hit the bottom and totally resigned my worries to God. What a journey that was and it changed my life so much! This post was from March, I didn't get a job until that November...it was a long, dark time for me. Almost 2 years later I still have that fantastic job and am about to get married! God taught me so much about finances, relying on myself too much and being honest with myself and others. Life is such a journey and unpredictable!
Unknown said...
11:28 AM, August 30, 2010
Wow!!! Awesome, I'm glad to hear things worked for the best and that God taught you a lot and made You stronger. I'm going through a dark moment in my life but have faith good things are coming my way and that He's preparing me for great things ahead. May God continue to bless you! Your story is an inspiration. God works for the good of those who love Him.
Anonymous said...
4:15 AM, May 03, 2013
Dear Anonymous, Do I know you personally? If so I would love to chat more! Life changes so quickly although I know during those tough times it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I pray that you will feel peace and that whatever happens, you come away with an even deeper understanding of yourself and the love of our Father.
Michelle M said...
11:01 PM, May 21, 2013